So I’ve come to two new conclusions about myself.
The first is that I’m a perfectionist, and while the generalized label I’ve been aware of for a while, the realization that it’s inhibiting my blog posts has just hit me (sometimes I’m a bit slow). So, no more not posting because my ideas “aren’t good enough.”
I have a lot of posts floating around my brain because they’re not perfect. Hopefully “not perfect” doesn’t translate to horrid or unreadable. No guarantees though.
Second is that as much as I might put “rules” on my clothes, the feeling inside is what’s really driving this. I deserve this. My body is mine and I can chose who to show what part(s) of it. No one has the right to tell me that I need to walk around in a state of dress that makes me feel uncomfortable/naked.
In other words, when I say, for example, “my skirts must cover my knees” it isn’t because of this rule or Anna said so, or the bible says so, or whatever, but because I feel better dressed that way. Better as in more comfortable, confident and lady like, not to mention safer and prettier. I will have to post a why-post soon.
As for New Year’s Resolutions. I do the whole word of the year thing, from Christine Kane.
This year my word is Integrity. From dictionary.reference.com (I think if you type in “dictionary.com” that’s what it redirects to, but I use it so much I only know the “real” url…)
|1.||adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.|
|2.||the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire.|
|3.||a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition: the integrity of a ship’s hull.|
So this year I hope to further develop/explore my personal moral code and to live by it. I also like the sound of being “whole” again, more on that in my next post.
I find it ironic, since last year my word was discipline. Which to me means doing what needs to be done, whether I feel like it or not. This year is figuring out what I should be doing (now that I can do it even if it’s hard to do!). I hadn’t planned that when I chose either word, either. One of those things that happen and leave me wondering, awed, how I could possibly think this life is random and unplanned.
As for run of the mill goals (you think I didn’t have any?) my three biggies are:
1. working out three times a week,
2. cutting down on chocolate and
3. sleeping better (ie going to bed and getting up at regular times and not oversleeping)