Every day a miracle. Just amazing, when you think of it… isn’t it?

On a more cheerful note we spent half an hour this morning cuddling with the kitty. DS is getting better at being gentle and, of course, Dusk is still incredibly patient.

Cue a sharp finger nail being dug into my nipple.

Cue me screaming OW.

Cue J starting to cry.

Cue me frantically trying to calm him down. It ended with me saying “I’m sorry, I know you’re sorry, can we start over?” I’m sure he didn’t actually understand but it worked.

We leave for Calgary in 3 days. EEEK!

J is in the six month size already. I swear someone stretched him out the past couple of weeks. No more baby chub.

I didn’t get any of my goals done this weekend, but at least today is a new day and I can try again. The dishes were half done before I had to stop to nurse… next is the laundry and after that is something from the million things I need to get done before we leave.

Yeah, I’m not depressed or anything…

Goals for this week:
~Do the dishes everyday
~Catch up on laundry
~Go for a walk everyday
~Goto bed by 10pm
~Read the bible a bit everyday.

Okay, maybe I am depressed. No mocking my goals allowed… Once I have a handle on the basics of my life again, that’s when I’ll start doing fun/growing things.

Next week’s goals will be incredibly different since we’ll be in Calgary, but starting in January I’ll do goals on a monthly basis.

And DS has definitely noticed the cat this week. We all sat cuddled up on the couch yesterday and J was “petting” Dusk for about half an hour. We have a wonderfully patient cat, btw.

I moved. We live on the Sunshine Coast in BC now.

Wait, we?

My husband and I. And our new little baby.

DS will be 3 months old on Saturday. He laughed last night. He also grabbed my nose this morning when I asked him where it was.

He’s currently sleeping in his chair right now. Took me forever to get him down and I finally gave up and left him to goto the bathroom… came back downstairs and he was conked right out.

Reasons I don’t think my current inability to eat properly is due to hormones still:

~ My hair has started falling out again

~ I’ve had a migraine for the past week an a half. I didn’t have a single migraine the entire time I was pregnant

~ The muscles in my neck have seized up again. Goodbye Relaxin, you will be missed!

I am getting seriously tired of feeling nauseous after every meal I eat (well, every meal I eat after about 11am).  I bet I would have more energy if I could eat, too.

I can’t keep the pill I was prescribed down. Going to have to call my doctor about that.

We fly back to Calgary in a week. I am not looking forward to it… Almost passing out during take off was bad enough when I didn’t have a baby to look after. At least Joseph will be there to help this time. Hopefully my adverse reaction to flying was solely because I was pregnant. But, then again, we thought my nausea was because I was pregnant too!

I had a grapefruit for breakfast this morning, with a bit of sugar sprinkled over it. Took me right back to mornings at my grandparents’ house. That was back when my grandmother wasn’t crazy… I miss her. I know she’s still here and all, but I miss the woman she used to be.

Can’t wait to have ten days off. Still need to buy my grandfather a present. Taking pictures of all the birds that live/migrate through here and identifying them will have to wait for another year… since I have no pictures to work with. Oy.

I don’t know what it is about the Terry’s Chocolate Oranges, but I can never stop eating one once I start. Mmmm chocolate.

The first is that I’m a perfectionist, and while the generalized label I’ve been aware of for a while, the realization that it’s inhibiting my blog posts has just hit me (sometimes I’m a bit slow). So, no more not posting because my ideas “aren’t good enough.”

I have a lot of posts floating around my brain because they’re not perfect. Hopefully “not perfect” doesn’t translate to horrid or unreadable. No guarantees though.

Second is that as much as I might put “rules” on my clothes, the feeling inside is what’s really driving this. I deserve this. My body is mine and I can chose who to show what part(s) of it. No one has the right to tell me that I need to walk around in a state of dress that makes me feel uncomfortable/naked.

In other words, when I say, for example, “my skirts must cover my knees” it isn’t because of this rule or Anna said so, or the bible says so, or whatever, but because I feel better dressed that way.  Better as in more comfortable, confident and lady like, not to mention safer and prettier. I will have to post a why-post soon.

As for New Year’s Resolutions. I do the whole word of the year thing, from Christine Kane.

This year my word is Integrity. From dictionary.reference.com (I think if you type in “dictionary.com” that’s what it redirects to, but I use it so much I only know the “real” url…)

So this year I hope to further develop/explore my personal moral code and to live by it. I also like the sound of being “whole” again, more on that in my next post.

I find it ironic, since last year my word was discipline. Which to me means doing what needs to be done, whether I feel like it or not. This year is figuring out what I should be doing (now that I can do it even if it’s hard to do!). I hadn’t planned that when I chose either word, either. One of those things that happen and leave me wondering, awed, how I could possibly think this life is random and unplanned.

As for run of the mill goals (you think I didn’t have any?) my three biggies are:

1. working out three times a week,

2. cutting down on chocolate and

3. sleeping better (ie going to bed and getting up at regular times and not oversleeping)

Not that they were too revealing, just that they were too casual.

Of course, these just happened to be things that I’d been questioning wearing; The skirt too flashy/bright, the sweater a little clingy and the dress too tight and too short (for my conscience).

So, of course, I’m taking this as a thwack on the head (after I’ve ignored the whispers, pokes and hints) to move my wardrobe towards where it should be.

Mostly for myself, I shall type out a guideline for my upcoming shopping trip. This could also be considered a guideline for “where I am now” on the modes-dress scale. Might be fun to look back at

(By the way, the dress? I’m turning it into a skirt to make it longer and avoid the hugging top.)

[Some of the following may be stumbling blocks for male readers]

I will buy…

~Neutral colours, preferably of 100% natural fibers (wool, cotton, hemp, etc.)

~More slips and camisoles

~Tights (for warmth – my work is highly air conditioned year round)

~items that are not tight, hugging, clinging or otherwise revealing even if they cover everything

I will test…

~the neckline (with the “knee test” where I put my hands on my knees and look in a mirror)

~how long things are when my hands are above my head (the “Hallelujah” test)

~the view from the side when my arms are in different positions

~for transperancy when held up to light

And finally, I will not buy any outer garments that do not cover half of my calves.

¹Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations.

²Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.

³Thou turnest man to destruction; and sayest, Return, ye children of men.

⁴For a thousand years in thy sight are but as yesterday when it is past, and as a watch in the night.

⁵Thou carriest them away as with a flood; they are as a sleep: in the morning they are like grass which groweth up.

⁶In the morning it flourisheth, and groweth up; in the evening it is cut down, and withereth.

⁷For we are consumed by thine anger, and by thy wrath are we troubled.

⁸Thou hast set our iniquities before thee, our secret sins in the light of thy countenance.

⁹For all our days are passed away in thy wrath: we spend our years as a tale that is told.

¹⁰The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.

¹¹Who knoweth the power of thine anger? even according to thy fear, so is thy wrath.

¹²So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

¹³Return, O LORD, how long? and let it repent thee concerning thy servants.

¹⁴O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

¹⁵Make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil.

¹⁶Let thy work appear unto thy servants, and thy glory unto their children.

¹⁷And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.”

Source: biblegateway.com/

Still, I stand by my definition; As far as I knew loincloths were two strips of fabric connected at the waist… which is exactly what she had on!

And I’ve seen quite a few girls wandering around with over-sized shirts… or I guess what’s supposed to be a dress.

I’m saddened and disgusted. These are the same girls who are wondering why all the guys they attract are only after their bodies. One day they’ll put some clothes on and figure it out. I hope

His name is Mellow. We’re not sure how old he is, but he’s not full grown yet.

He thinks that the toilet flushing is the most amazing thing ever!

He also enjoys being held up to see into the filling washing machine, or a sink full of dirty dishes. And he’ll watch you shower and peer into the dryer when it’s open.

Of course, kitten-like, he adores dangling strings and such. His favourite toys, thus far, are an empty cardboard box, an empty paper bag (with handles! oooh handles!) and a tag, duct taped up, and tied to a string.

We’re thinking of getting him a harness, since he adores exploring so much, and then he could explore outside as well. Yay kitty walks!

I want in…
5 years: To have a clean kitchen
1 year: To have washed all of the dishes
6 months: To have washed all of the dishes except the pots/pans
1 month: To have washed all of the cutlery
1 week: To have washed all of the forks
Today: To have washed this fork

So yeah, kinda silly, but I like it so humph! (And no, I don’t expect it to take me 5 years to clean my kitchen That’s why it’s a metaphor!)

It’s a nice reminder to live in the moment. I’ve been trying to remember that, after I decide which ‘section’ of dishes (all the plates, or bowls, or cups, etc.) next, I don’t need to worry about anything other than the particular dish I’m working on. It’s very zen-like. And it’s a nice stepping stone for me, because I’m horrible at living in the moment. I worry. I don’t think “clean this fork” I think “After I do this fork I need to finish all the cutlery then do that plate I forgot then do this pan, then I should probably do this pot next, or maybe this” (this applies to other areas of my life too). All in all, it makes doing dishes (or anything) much more stressful than it needs to be, so I’m working on changing it.

This ends my rambles!